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If you want a successful relationship, you’re going to have to put in the effort. You’re going to have to give your person love and attention, even when you’re tired, even when you’re stressed, even when you’re not in the mood to deal with people. You’re going to have to be there for each other, even when it’s inconvenient, even when you have a million other things to get done that day.

If you want a successful relationship, you’re going to have to make sure you give as much as you receive. You’re going to have to make sure your person feels loved, valued, and appreciated. You’re going to have to make sure you put in enough work each and every day so your person doesn’t feel like they’re stuck doing the heavy lifting alone.

If you want a successful relationship, you’re going to have to put effort into planning, into date nights, into acting romantic. You’re going to have to figure out ways to keep the relationship fresh and exciting once the puppy love stage is over because falling into a routine can mean falling into a rut.

If you want a successful relationship, you’re going to have to put effort into other relationships that are associated with your relationship. You’re going to have to invite your person’s parents over to dinner. You’re going to have to hang out with their best friends. You’re going to have to treat their loved ones as well as you treat them.

If you want a successful relationship, you’re going to have to put effort into giving compliments, into making your person feel beautiful, into giving them enough affection. You’re going to have to hold their hand and give massages and kiss their forehead. You’re going to have to make sure they know how much you love cuddling and touching their skin, even if there isn’t any chance you’re going to sleep together, because you love them for more than sex.

If you want a successful relationship, you’re going to have to put effort into housework, into chores, into the most boring, mundane tasks. You’re going to have to take turns washing dishes and laundry. You’re going to have to be the designated driver some nights and grocery shop other nights. You’re going to have to work as a team in order to get everything done.

If you want a successful relationship, you’re going to have to put effort into yourself. You’re going to have to take care of your physical and mental health so you live a long, healthy life. You’re going to have to handle your baggage to make sure you can be there for your person when they need you. You’re going to have to make it your mission to become a better person, to give your partner everything they deserve and more.

If you want a successful relationship, you’re going to have to put in effort. You’re going to have to take your commitment seriously. You’re going to have to give your person all the love you have to give. TC mark


1. Accuses you of overreacting. Your person should consider your feelings valid. Even if they don’t understand why you’re having such an extreme reaction to something they don’t consider that big of a deal, it doesn’t give them the right to accuse you of being dramatic. They should try to see things from your perspective. They should understand you’re two separate people with two different sets of emotions and if you say something is bothering you, they should respect that.

2. Repeatedly treats you like a punching bag. Just because your person had a horrible day at work, it does’t give them the right to come home and snap at you. They’re mad at their boss or their coworkers or themselves, not you, so you shouldn’t be getting subjected to their rage. They shouldn’t be taking out all of their issues on you.

3. Hides details from you. Forgetting to tell you about the text their ex sent them or the party they went to without you is the same as lying about those things. If your person has purposely been concealing details about their week, then how are you supposed to trust them? How are you supposed to consider them your forever?

4. Makes you feel like second best. Your person should make you feel special. They should make you feel loved. You shouldn’t feel like you’re coming in second to another woman or their best friend. You can’t expect to be the only person in their world — but you certainly shouldn’t feel like a backup plan when the rest of their friends are busy.

5. Refuses to show up for you. Your person shouldn’t turn down every dinner invitation and family BBQ. Your person should be an active part of your world. They should be excited to get to know the people who love you the most. They shouldn’t be hiding themselves away and only agree to hang out with you one-on-one.

6. Worsens your mental health. It doesn’t matter whether you suffer from depression, anxiety, BPD, or any other mental illness. If your person loves you and respects you, then they will be supportive of you. They won’t make fun of your issues. They won’t call you a burden. They won’t act like they’re doing you a favor by dealing with you.

7. Purposely hurts your feelings. It doesn’t matter if you’re in the middle of a massive argument or whether they end up apologizing a few minutes later. Your person should never toss insults at you. They should never aim to hurt your feelings. They’re supposed to make you feel better about yourself, not worse.

8. Shatters your self-image. Your person is supposed to love every little thing about you. They shouldn’t be telling you to lose weight or making comments about how you would look so much better with a different hairstyle. They should love you exactly the way you are.

9. Discourages your dreams. You should never be expected to choose between your person and your career. You can have both as long as your person is supportive. If they think you’re fooling yourself by chasing after your dreams, then you’re fooling yourself by calling them your forever person. TC mark


Open a deck of playing cards. Cut them, fan them, shuffle them. After you’ve finished amusing yourself, hold the entire deck in one hand. Using your other hand, lift the first card. Rub it between your thumb and forefinger for a few seconds. Ponder it. Allow its uniqueness to sink in, then drop it on the table. Do this with each card until you’ve depleted all the aces, all the face and number cards, every last diamond and club. Mull over the big pile spread out motionless on the table. Fifty-two cards. That’s how many people Andrei Chikatilo snuffed.

Operating mainly in the grimly macho, smoke-puking port town of Rostov in the former Soviet Union, Chikatilo laid waste to twenty-one boys, fourteen girls, and seventeen women. Starting in October, 1978, he raped, killed, and gnawed on raw sexual organs until his abduction late in 1990.

Physically, Chikatilo was an unimpressive man, as forgettable as a used scrap of newspaper being pushed along by a dry wind. It was his very blandness which enabled him to persuade Rostov’s young wastrels to accompany him into the city’s thick forested strips. Cruising train stations, bus stops, and video parlors, he lured fatally gullible souls with the promise that some pot of gold—vodka, porn tapes, or a ride in his car—was waiting on the other side of the woods. Culturally conditioned to trust all adults, the simpering Soviets swallowed the bait.

A fanatical communist, Chikatilo said he was upholding puritanical commie mores by slaying street degenerates. He imagined himself heroic, defending the motherland’s honor in a one-man guerrilla war. He told a reporter:

Everyone was spying on me, so I could fight only using guerrilla techniques. Grab a prisoner, take them to the chief of the guerrilla team, and find everything out. I told them that we’re going to the guerrillas. And I tied up their hands….I had fulfilled my guerrilla mission against my offenders who poisoned my life. I knew that I had stood up for myself.

“Up” is the operative word, because Chikatilo was cursed with a drooping dingus; he was allegedly impotent since birth. He also felt he resembled a woman and had been taunted in his youth by fellow Red Army soldiers, who jeered at his feeble asexuality. He took a lover after leaving the military but proved unable to complete the deed. The woman blabbed to townsfolk that “his machine is not working.” After that shameful night of non-penetrative sexual agony, Chikatilo tried unsuccessfully to hang himself. He never forgot his debasement at the hands of that unsatisfied Ukrainian maiden. “I was very angry with that girl,” he would recall. “I dreamed of catching her and tearing her to pieces as a revenge for my disaster.”

Chikatilo’s mug shot, 1990. (Rostov Police Department)

But the foot-long knife he carried with him into the woods never let him down. Chikatilo described his in-forest demeanor as that of a “crazed wolf.” Raindrop-sized beads of sweat gathered on his balding pate as he and his quarry plunged deep within the dark woodlands. He assumed command there, his hidden rage made manifest in a most ungainly manner. He’d assail his victims out of nowhere, usually from behind—doggy-style, so to speak—and pin them to the ground with his two-hundred-pound bulk. After binding them and running through his guerrilla spiel, he’d torment them by tearing loose their sex organs, biting out their tongues, and slitting open their guts while they were alive. Moving in for the kill, he’d stab them in the heart first, then in the eyes, because he felt the victim’s retinas preserved the murderous apparition even in death. While jabbing with the blade as many as fifty times, he was capable of raising his mast long enough to masturbate to completion. After spurting his filthy grey dribble, he’d often grab handfuls of rich forest soil and ram it into dead mouths and anuses.

His first victim, a nine-year-old girl, was the object of a foiled rape attempt which unraveled into homicide. When Chikatilo found that squeezing out the little missy’s life got him aroused, he sexually fused with murderous sadism, a phenomenon psychiatrists term “imprinting.” He was questioned in connection with that killing, but inept Russian officials arrested, convicted, and executed another man.

As the eighties dawned and the bodies stacked up, Rostov police fell under the delusion that a gang of psychotic young males was responsible. But the slayings proceeded unhindered even after all the gang members were jailed. The killing pace reached its zenith in 1984, with seventeen Rostovite lives extinguished by the impotent psychopath. Police arrested Chikatilo the same year but released him after they bungled a basic blood test. From then until 1989, the killer confined most of his action outside the Rostov area, usually during long business trips for his job as a factory supply clerk. One victim in Uzbekistan was so severely mutilated, she was originally thought to have been shredded by a harvesting machine.

Fifty-five officers were eventually assigned to the case full-time, listing twenty-five thousand suspects. Chikatilo was nabbed in November, 1990, when a cop spotted him covered with scratches and stooping to clean his boots after exiting a wooded area. He was set free but taken into custody a few days later when a carcass was found near the arrest site.

The sexually dysfunctional child-butcher didn’t budge after nine days of interrogation. Police then produced a psychiatrist who had drawn up a hypothetical personality profile during the manhunt, describing the unknown killer as an aging milquetoast who was good with kids but had trouble running his flag up the pole. When the shrink read the portrait aloud, Chikatilo recognized himself and began weeping. He admitted guilt for the thirty-four murders with which he was charged and described twenty-one others, of which only three were dismissed for lack of evidence. Chikatilo led police to murder scene after murder scene, unearthing bodies the cops weren’t even aware had been missing.

During his protracted confession, he detailed harrowing childhood memories of cannibalism, dismemberment, and familial shame. When he was four, his mother told him that prior to his birth, famine-crazed villagers captured his older brother and gobbled him clean to the bone. Mama Chikatilo warned young Andrei never to stray outside their yard. The story petrified the fledgling psycho, but it also tantalized him. Living under Nazi occupation in the early forties, the beardless youth helped his fellow citizens pick up body parts which had been blasted all over the streets. His father, who had been taken prisoner by the Germans, was reviled after the war as a traitor and sent to the gulags. The stain remained in Chikatilo’s mind, which may account for his compensatory attempts at valiance through knightly war-game fantasies.

In addition to his ghoulish boyhood and soft pecker, he also blamed the petty indignities of endless business travel. “I dreamed of a big political career,” he sighed, “and ended up with this nothing life, in stations and on trains….I know I have to be destroyed. I understand. I was a mistake of nature.”

Like many seasoned slayers, he was skilled at concealing his violent shadow existence. Chikatilo had lived for years in an apartment with his wife Fayina and their two offspring. He says he and the missus ceased humping circa 1984. “I love my wife,” he wrote. “I’m grateful to her because she endured my impotence. We had no real intercourse, only imitation.” From all reports, Chikatilo’s bambinos had no clue that their flaccid pappy was killing as many mortals as there are weeks in the year. Fayina, whose screaming tirades sent her limp mate scuttling into a corner, described him as a “perfect husband,” a man incapable of “killing a chicken.” She didn’t even suspect anything after learning he had lost two teaching jobs because of child molestation. When Andrei came home disheveled and blood-sprinkled, she believed his stories that his cruel bosses were making him load dirty wooden crates. But rather than face the mazurkas of publicity which swirled around them after Chikatilo’s apprehension, Fayina and her brood adopted pseudonyms and moved away.

They missed one hell of a show. For the trial, Russian officials placed Chikatilo in a white metal cage to protect him from vengeful court observers. Frenzied babushkas lunged toward the cage to claw at him, squealing, “Give him to us! Let us have him!….They should rip him apart like a dog!…If they gave him to me, I’d tear him apart! I’d gouge out his eyes and cut him up! I’d do everything to him that he did to my daughter!” Under Russian law, the victims’ relatives were forced to stand and endure the judge’s recitation of the grisly deeds inflicted upon their dearly deceased. White-coated nurses were on hand with smelling salts to revive those who fainted.

Inside the cage, Chikatilo chased after reporters’ popping flashbulbs as if they were butterflies. He screamed that he needed an ambulance and complained that the court ledger had misspelled his name. He once completely disrobed and began spinning his shirt over his head, howling, “Under this banner I battled the Assyrian mafia!” At one juncture, he claimed that he was pregnant and that his breasts were swelling with milk. As the trial wore on and his demise seemed certain, he began each day’s session baying like a loon and was usually ejected within the first five minutes. Despite such laudable theatrics, Soviet shrinks declared him sane. When his death sentence was pronounced, Chikatilo threw his bench against the cage in disgust while the crowd went joyfully berserk. As guards led him away in manacles, he was heard hollering, “Crooks! I fought for free Russia and free Ukraine! Crooks! Crooks!…”

At the trial’s beginning, with his wide eyes and shaven head, Chikatilo looked like an emaciated Amazing Colossal Man. As his sparse hair began to take root and he slipped on a pair of horn-rimmed glasses, he resembled a typical elderly perv.

Back when Chikatilo was out slaying dozens, Russian police refused to publicize the case. The Communist Party line had been that serial killing was strictly a capitalist phenom, a symptom of the virus known as Western materialism. Chikatilo’s final arrest coincided portentously with the Soviet Union’s disintegration. TC mark

























Relieved TC mark


The idea that you need to love yourself before you can love anyone else — or be loved by anyone else — is bullshit. But at the same time, it’s significantly harder to date when you don’t love yourself because your insecurities are at the forefront of your mind.

You have trouble believing people are authentic when they swipe right on dating apps or call you beautiful or ask you on a date with them. There’s a nagging part of your brain that warns you they must be screwing with you or stringing you along or trying to get something out of you. You have a hard time believing anyone would want to date you and only you when the world is packed with so many beautiful, talented people. You assume everyone else sees you the way you see yourself. As nothing special.

It’s hard to date when you don’t love yourself because you hesitate to put yourself out there. You walk into situations assuming the worst. You assume you’re going to get rejected. You assume you’re going to make a fool of yourself. You assume you’re going to end up heartbroken.

Since you can’t even imagine something good happening to you, most of the time, you don’t even try. You let opportunities pass you by. You scroll by pictures of your crush without hitting the like button. You break eye contact too early. You avoid walking up to anyone attractive or sending the first text out of fear of being ignored.

It’s hard to date when you don’t love yourself because when you find someone who treats you right, you aren’t sure how to handle the sudden surge of affection. You aren’t used to being treated with so much tenderness. You expect to be treated as a backup plan or punching bag. You expect to be abandoned and heartbroken. You have trouble accepting unconditional love from someone else because you’ve never even shown that kind of love to yourself.

It’s hard to date when you don’t love yourself because your doubts get the best of you. Even once you’re in a stable, healthy relationship, you need constant reassurance. You need to know your person hasn’t grown bored of you, hasn’t lost interest in you, hasn’t strayed from you. You need to hear those three little words as much as humanly possible because silence scares you. The unknown scares you.

It’s hard to date when you don’t love yourself because you have trouble understanding where your person is coming from. You don’t understand why they would want to be in a relationship with you, why they would stay loyal to you, why they would dedicate their lives to you. Your trust issues might start some accidental fights because you can’t wrap your head around why your person loves you so much when you can’t feel the same love for yourself.

It’s hard to date when you don’t love yourself, which is why you should take some time to work on getting to know yourself better. That way, whether or not you’re in a committed relationship, you’ll always feel loved. TC mark


Complaining all the time is going to make you come across as a grouchy, negative person — even worse, it’s going to make you feel miserable. It’s going to make each hour feel longer and each week feel like an eternity.

If you wish things were different in your world, then you can make changes. You don’t have to do anything too extreme like breakup with your boyfriend or quit your job or move across the country. Sometimes, little changes can have just as big of an impact.

If you’re bored in your relationship, get on the internet and search for some new date ideas you can try. Instead of sitting at the same restaurant you’ve visited every weekend since your first date, go to an escape room or go ziplining or rent jet skis.

Try something you’ve never tried before — or go out on a night when you usually stay in. That way, you won’t have to wait until the weekend to feel like you’re spending quality time together. You can look forward to the middle of the week, even if the only thing you’re doing is attending a book club together or going to the gym together.

If you’re annoyed with where you work, then you might be able to make little changes to make Monday through Friday more bearable. Maybe your boss wouldn’t mind if you wore headphones to listen to music or a podcast while you worked. Maybe you could pack a more exciting lunch than your usual sandwich so you have something to look forward to during the first half of your shift. Maybe you could spend the commute home listening to an audiobook or catching up with friends you haven’t seen in a while on the phone.

If you’re sick of living in your town, you might not have to move across the country in order to make yourself feel better. Maybe you can drive another town over on weekends for dinner and drinks so you experience a new variety. Maybe you can sign up for Masterclasses to interact with people across the country from inside of your own home. Maybe you can ‘visit’ friends in other states by playing video games with them online or Facetiming them while you’re both eating dinner so it feels like you’re in the same room.

When something in your world is making you unhappy, you don’t have to throw up your hands and say it is what it is. You can choose to make changes. You can choose not to live a miserable life.

All of the time you spend complaining is time wasted. Instead of moping about how much you hate your life, do something to change it. No, you might not have enough cash saved to quit your job on the spot or move across the country on a whim, but you can get creative. You can make tiny changes that will make your world a lot more exciting. You just have to put in the thought. You just have to put in the effort. TC mark


One of the worst feelings in the world is emptiness, numbness, hopelessness.

You don’t want to sit there and do nothing but it’s hard for you to find the energy to rise from bed without hitting snooze at least three times in a row. You have trouble finding the energy to kickstart your day because you aren’t sure what you’re supposed to do. You aren’t sure what’s going to make you happy. You aren’t sure which steps you’re supposed to take in order to reach a place of fulfillment.

If you had any clue about which direction to head toward, then maybe you would be able to conjure up some motivation, but you are completely and utterly lost. You don’t know what you want outside of broad terms like happiness and success and friendship and meaning. 

You get caught in a dangerous cycle because you don’t have the energy to get work done so you spend the majority of your day doing nothing, but then you feel guilty about doing nothing. Instead of being productive, you end up stewing in your own self-pity. You end up feeling sorry for yourself and wishing you could make a change instead of taking the steps to make that change.

Of course, change is hard. When you’re feeling empty, it’s hard to find the energy to give a shit about yourself. You know you should be laying the groundwork to create a better future for yourself but you keep thinking about the past. You keep dwelling on everything that has gone wrong and the only time you think about the future is to think of what else could go wrong down the line.

When you’re feeling empty, it’s tempting to give up on yourself — but you cannot allow your worst fears to win. You cannot assume you’re going to fail. You cannot assume there is no point in trying.

You have to believe in yourself. At the very least, you have to respect yourself.

Even though it’s hard to get out of bed when you’re feeling empty, let alone cross items off your to-do list, you don’t want to spend too much time in your bedroom, wasting away the hours until it’s time to fall back asleep again. You don’t want to allow your routine to repeat itself day after day in the worst possible way. You don’t want to let your regrets keep piling up until they’re the only thing on your mind. You don’t want to give up on yourself, even accidentally.

When you’re feeling empty inside, it’s easy to assume you’re going to feel that way forever, but that doesn’t have to be the case. If you fight through the way you’re feeling right now, if you take the necessary steps to care for your mental health and to move forward toward a brighter future, then the empty feeling might go away sooner than you expect. You might end up happier than you ever imagined yourself. You might feel whole again. TC mark



Best: You’re ready to take on the world around you with confidence and enthusiasm. You’re a compassionate leader who doesn’t hesitate to take the lead but is encouraging rather than demanding. You’re protective and loyal towards your loved ones, and you know how to get everyone excited about whatever new adventure is coming up.

Worst: You’re possessive and territorial, particularly with those you have your eye on. You are domineering and inconsiderate, believing you know best how to handle things, even if you don’t. You let your anger take the driver’s seat and you bulldoze over anything in your path with full force. You have a hard time following through on things because you’re easily bored and search more for the thrill than the actual moment.


Best: You are level-headed and don’t let anyone push you around. You are loyal to your loved ones on an unprecedented level- anytime they need someone, you’re there. You know the value of consistency and provide a stable environment for yourself and those around you. You understand the value of hard work, and you do any task assigned to you well.

Worst: You are closed off to anything new or unknown to you. You make snap judgments about people who don’t automatically fit into the framework of your life. You rarely trust people, and you make them feel inadequate because of it. You believe your way is not only the best, but the only way, and you refuse to compromise with anyone.


Best: You are witty and know how to engage everyone in the room in conversations. You don’t let conversations drag and you rarely run out of interesting things to discuss. You’re kind and understanding, willing to look at other people’s points of view rather than simply your own. You inspire others to follow their passion and provide a strong sense of encouragement to their lives that are hard to find elsewhere.

Worst: You’re indecisive in most aspects of your life. You are always afraid of missing out on something new, so you never commit to anything and push people away because of it. You’re always trying to prove that you know more than others, so you talk over them or interrupt them to speak your mind. You make promises that you don’t follow through on because you want to be liked, but you won’t give up another opportunity that seems more fun. You grow tired of people and relationships easily, so your connections with others are superficial at best.


Best: You’re compassionate and kind-hearted beyond measure. You make sure the people you care about know they are loved deeply, and they appreciate you for it. You remember the things others overlook, and you elevate others above yourself. You care for your own needs because you understand the importance of balance, but you’re still considerate and selfless through and through.

Worst: You worry that you’re not good enough for people, so you cling to them tightly in hopes they won’t leave. You allow your emotions to take the driver’s seat in your decisions, and often this leads you into trouble. You put everyone else’s needs above your own but feel resentful that no one does the same thing for you. You don’t talk about the things that bother you, so you let it all build up inside until you explode, causing friction in your relationships.


Best: You’re a dynamic force to be reckoned with. You are charming and entertaining and capable of garnering attention without trying to take away from others. You are supportive and encouraging to those around you, and you inspire them with your own sense of confidence. You have the backs of anyone who you’re close to, and you refuse to let them be taken advantage of in any situation. You’re fiercely loyal and passionate, showering your relationships with love and validation every step of the way.

Worst: You’re self-seeking and arrogant, believing no one can top you in any situation. You cut others down in order to make yourself look superior by comparison. You spend more time making things appear to be spectacular, rather than investing in anything of substance. You make your relationships one-sided, ensuring they will complement and validate you while you rarely return the favor. You keep relationships and friends at a distance because you always believe you can do better.


Best: You’re intelligent and organized throughout most aspects of your life. You are about the little details and you ensure that everything runs as smoothly and efficiently as possible. You strive to be a better version of yourself every day, and you encourage others in your life to do the same. You are always a shoulder to lean on or a person to come to when you’re needed, and you value close relationships. You’re more open to trusting others and opening up because you know that vulnerability isn’t the same as weakness.

Worst: You expect perfection from yourself and those around you and become frustrated when that doesn’t happen. You’re picky and critical of others who don’t think or do things the way you do. You easily judge people without getting to know them, using it a defense mechanism to keep others from getting close to you. You prioritize logic over feelings to the extent that you never allow emotions to have any say in your life.


Best: You’re charming and tactful, and you have a way of bringing people together in ways others can’t. You’re patient and able to hear others viewpoints without demeaning them. You’re outgoing and positive, bringing a certain energy to any group you happen to part of. You care about others deeply and go out of your way to make sure things are calm so that everyone can have a good time.

Worst: You are so fixated on making sure everything on the outside is gorgeous and perfect that you neglect anything else. You don’t actually care if problems or issues are “fixed”, just as long as they look that way. You stir up drama just so you can “fix” it and look like a hero. You allow people to walk all over you, then grow resentful as they do despite that you won’t speak up for yourself.


Best: You’re intelligent and intriguing, able to draw people in and form connections. You’re passionate and alluring and have no trouble expressing affection to people. You are able to form strong, trusting, deep connections with your loved ones that allow you to be vulnerable. You are self-aware and intuitive, able to process your thoughts and emotions on your own that help you relate with and help others.

Worst: You’re manipulative and deceitful, only interested in relationships that satisfy your own desires. You lie easily and put up walls in order to keep others at a distance. You believe that being on your own is best because no one could possibly be good enough to be in your life. You’re untrusting and callous, refusing to see the potential good in anything or anyone.


Best: You’re hilarious and light-hearted and are able to see the best in just about anything. You’re easy-going and adventurous, willing to take on the day with an enthusiasm unrivaled by anyone. You see life as something to explore, and you long to take your loved ones with you so you can experience it together. You’re spontaneous and witty and are able to get along with just about anyone. You see the good in life and you are determined to live it to the fullest.

Worst: You’re reckless and inconsiderate and are mostly consumed with what you want. You are so afraid of missing out on new opportunities, you keep yourself detached and uncommitted, regardless of who you hurt. You’re dishonest and claim it’s to spare feelings when in reality you just don’t want to look like a bad person. You refuse to deal with the realities or responsibilities of day-to-day life, and only choose to live in your own fantasy world. You rely on others to bail you out of tough situations and don’t care how inconvenient it is for them.


Best: You’re strong in your work ethic and you know how to get things done. You set high goals, but you achieve them. You know how to balance your work-load with the rest of your life, and know-how to not neglect the people in your life who care for you. You understand the importance of tradition but know there is a time to compromise and a time to fight for your convictions. You’re loyal and always available to help when you’re needed.

Worst: You prioritize success above anything else. You neglect and ignore anything in your life that won’t contribute to your end goal. You view emotions as a weakness, and you only stick with cold, hard logic. You refuse to empathize with anyone because you want to be the top dog. You’re pessimistic and rude, setting your expectations low so you can avoid disappointment. You’re blunt and prideful, and you don’t care if you hurt feelings, believing everyone else is just too sensitive.


Best: You’re encouraging and interesting, opening up people’s eyes to new ways of seeing the world. You have a soft heart for social justice issues and you do your part in helping with whatever you can. You’re supportive and inspirational to your loved ones, pushing them to see themselves the way you do. You’re ingenuitive and clever, able to take your ideas and put them into action. You’re unconventional and confident, unafraid of being unapologetically yourself.

Worst: You see the world as a place full of terrible and hypocritical people, and you pass judgment on anyone around you who doesn’t agree with your strong convictions. You feel as if relationships only hold you back, so you keep yourself emotionally unavailable to people in your life. You refuse to ever do things in a traditional way, which leads you to be critical of anyone who does. You talk a big game on how others should be helpful when you rarely get out of your own head to do it yourself.


Best: You’re empathetic and intuitive, able to connect with people on an emotional level with ease. You’re relaxed and have a positive outlook on life. You don’t get stressed out by the small things, and you know how to be there for people when they need someone to talk to. You’re selfless and considerate, and you don’t simply tolerate other people’s needs, but you thrive in helping them. You think of others before yourself, though you don’t forget your own needs in the process.

Worst: You’re indecisive and confusing in your communication. You say one thing but then do another. You are drawn to people who make you feel needed, putting you in toxic situations often. You can be manipulative and conniving, with your ability to understand people on a different level than most. You know how to make a person vulnerable and you are capable of exploiting that knowledge to make yourself seem important. You are never certain if you’re making the right choice, so you rarely remain faithful or consistent in your relationships with others.


When you love someone, you shouldn’t take anything sweet they do for you for granted, even if they’ve done it a million times before. You should continue to show them your appreciation long after the puppy love phase is over. You should make sure they realize just how much you care about them, how much you respect them, how much you love them.

When you love someone, you shouldn’t go too long without saying please or thank you or I love you. You shouldn’t make your partner wonder whether everything they’ve been doing is for nothing, whether you even notice all of the effort they’ve been putting into your relationship. You shouldn’t give them a single reason to believe you’ve grown bored of them or are neglecting them.

When you love someone, you give them validation. You congratulate them on even their smallest victories. You help them feel good about themselves. You remind them how much work they’ve put into everything they do, you let them know how much you appreciate their effort, and you remind them to be proud of themselves.

When you love someone, you don’t pick apart their dreams. You don’t discourage them from trying new things. You don’t make them feel like they’re stuck in the same place. You encourage them to chase after their desires. You encourage them to reach their full potential. You support them in everything they strive to accomplish. You push them toward success, toward a better future.

When you love someone, you freely show them affection. You hold their hand in public. You kiss their cheek and their forehead. You make sure they realize how lucky you feel to have them. You make sure they realize you’re proud to be seen with them.

When you love someone, you remind them of their potential. When they’re feeling bad about themselves, you give them reasons to smile again. You comfort them after their failures and losses. You remind them one setback isn’t the end of the world. You remind them how tough they are and how they’re going to get through this with you.

When you love someone, you should give them a wide range of compliments. You should tell them how you’re feeling as soon as the thought pops into your mind. You might assume your partner already knows how you feel, but it’s always nice to hear the words aloud, which is why you should never keep your emotions inside. You should never hold back your kindness.

When you love someone, you don’t take from them without giving anything in return. You don’t feel flattered by all of their attention without doling out attention of your own. You make sure to return the effort they put into the relationship. You make sure you’re showing them just as much love as they’re always showing you. You make sure everything is equal, that you’re a true team.

When you love someone, you should show appreciation for them. You should make sure they know exactly how much they mean to you. TC mark



They hate how hard it is for them to slow down and relax.


They hate how much time they waste thinking about the past.


They hate how quickly they can jump between loving someone and hating someone.


They hate how much they care about everyone else’s opinions.


They hate how many people get on their nerves.


They hate how the smallest inconvenience can ruin their day.


They hate how emotional they get over little things.


They hate how little they care about themselves


They hate how much trust they can place in the wrong person.


They hate how easily their temper flares.


They hate how uncomfortable they feel 99% of the time.


They hate how gullible they can be when they love someone. TC mark


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